Trying something new together is less about novelty for its own sake and more about staying curious with each other — a small, ongoing conversation conducted through touch rather than words.
The four below are less about acrobatics and more about creating new angles for closeness, eye contact, or sensation. None of them requires unusual flexibility, and none of them needs to happen in a particular order, or at all.
What makes positions worth exploring together
There’s a version of this conversation that turns into a checklist — a set of positions to work through, each one a small achievement. That framing usually produces the opposite of what people want. It makes intimacy into a performance with a score.
The useful version is different. Changing position changes the angle, the pressure, the pace and, often, how much eye contact is possible. Those are genuinely different experiences, not variations on the same one. And the act of trying something together, without knowing in advance whether you’ll like it, is itself a form of closeness.
Some things will work. Some won’t. The ones that don’t are information, not failure.
1. Face to face, seated
One partner seated, the other settling in close, facing each other.
This position keeps eye contact and closeness at the centre, with control shared more evenly between both people than many positions allow. Neither person is entirely in charge of pace, which changes the dynamic — movement becomes something you negotiate continuously rather than something one person leads.
It rewards slow movement more than fast, and suits an evening built around intimacy rather than urgency.
Practical notes: a firm surface works better than a soft one — a bed with a good edge, a chair without arms. If one partner is significantly taller, a cushion under the seated person can even out the height difference and make the angle more comfortable for both.
2. Side by side
Lying face to face on your sides removes much of the physical effort other positions demand.
That makes it a good choice for a slower, more languid encounter, or simply for an evening when energy is lower but closeness is still wanted. Long relationships tend to include plenty of those evenings, and having a position that doesn’t require stamina is more useful than it sounds.
The slower pace it naturally encourages often makes it easier to stay present — there’s less to manage physically, so more attention is available for sensation.
Practical notes: a pillow between the knees of the lower leg improves comfort considerably, particularly for anyone with hip or lower back sensitivity. This is also one of the easier positions to hold for a long time without either person needing to shift.
3. From behind, standing or kneeling
This angle changes the sensation considerably for both partners and allows for a different kind of touch — hands free to explore rather than needed for support.
Communication matters more here, precisely because eye contact is reduced. Checking in with words or sound becomes a more active part of staying connected, and it’s worth agreeing in advance that either person can slow down or change position without explanation.
Practical notes: depth is easier to misjudge in this position than in most others, so starting shallow and adjusting together is worth doing deliberately rather than by feel. Additional lubricant makes a noticeable difference here — the angle tends to reduce natural lubrication reaching where it’s needed.
4. Reclined, partner above
With one partner reclined and the other in control of pace and depth, this position offers the partner on top significant control over their own pleasure, while the partner below is free to focus entirely on sensation rather than effort.
That distribution suits a lot of couples better than they expect. The person on top can adjust angle continuously without needing to communicate each change, and the person underneath isn’t managing their own weight.
Practical notes: it asks more of the thighs than people anticipate, so it’s often better in shorter stretches or combined with something else. A pillow under the lower partner’s hips changes the angle noticeably — worth experimenting with.
What actually makes any position work
More than the position itself, what matters is communication before and during — a quiet check-in about what feels good, an adjustment made without breaking the moment, permission to slow down or stop entirely.
No position substitutes for that conversation. The best ones simply create good conditions for it.
A few things that help across all of them:
Adjust rather than endure. If an angle isn’t right, changing it mid-way is normal, not a disruption. Couples who treat adjustment as ordinary tend to have a better time than those who treat it as an interruption.
Sound counts as communication. Not every check-in needs to be a sentence. Breathing, pace, the way someone moves — all of it carries information, and paying attention to it is often more useful than asking.
Agree that stopping is always available. Knowing that either person can stop without needing a reason makes it easier for both people to relax into trying something unfamiliar.
Comfort is not a footnote
A good water-based lubricant makes nearly every position more comfortable, particularly ones involving new angles or extended sessions. Natural lubrication varies with cycle phase, stress, hydration, medication and age — using more isn’t a sign that something is missing.
For positions that ask more of the body, a small cushion or wedge makes a genuine difference without changing the experience itself. This is worth taking seriously rather than improvising with whatever pillow is nearby: angle and support are most of what separates a position that works from one that doesn’t.
If a particular position is consistently uncomfortable rather than just unfamiliar, that’s worth paying attention to. Persistent pain during intimacy isn’t something to work around — pelvic floor tension is a common and treatable cause, and a pelvic floor physiotherapist can assess it properly.
For patient-facing guidance on pain during intimacy, both the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists publish material worth reading before assuming discomfort is normal.
Let curiosity lead, not pressure
None of this needs to happen in one evening, or ever, if it doesn’t appeal to you.
The point of trying something new isn’t checking positions off a list. It’s staying curious with each other, at whatever pace suits you both. Couples who have been together a long time sometimes find that the appeal isn’t the position at all — it’s the fact of deciding to try something together, which is its own kind of intimacy.
If you’re exploring together more deliberately, our couples collection is built around objects designed for two people rather than one.
Exploration without expectation
The most rewarding part of trying something new together usually isn’t the position itself, but the conversation it opens — about what you both enjoy, what surprises you, and what you’d like to explore again.
That conversation, more than any specific angle, is what actually keeps things interesting over time.
And if you find you prefer what you were already doing, that’s a legitimate result too. Knowing what you like is more valuable than having tried everything.
This article is provided for general information. If you experience persistent pain during intimacy, speak with a qualified healthcare professional.
