Novelty Condoms

Hand-painted latex condoms, made as gifts and curiosities rather than contraceptives. Everything here is Condomerie, an Amsterdam maker that paints each one individually. They are kept apart from the condoms range on purpose: nothing on this page is sold as protection.

Read this before buying: these do not protect

Novelty condoms are not contraceptives and are not protection against sexually transmitted infections. This is not a disclaimer we are adding out of caution — it is what the manufacturer states on every item in this range, word for word: "They are not intended for family planning or protection against sexually transmitted diseases… Can you use this condom? NO, this condom does not protect; it's just lovely nonsense."

Every product page in this category repeats that warning. None of them carries a CE mark or an EN ISO 4074 reference — the standard a condom must meet to be sold as a medical device in the EU. A product without that certification has not been tested for burst pressure, freedom from holes, or shelf life.

Treat them as what they are: painted objects. If you need contraception or protection, buy from the condoms range instead, where the products are certified for it.

What they actually are

Each one is a latex condom, dipped and then hand-painted with non-toxic pigments. The dusting powder is natural. The latex comes from a controlled source — the material is fine, it simply has not been through the testing regime that makes a condom a medical device.

The designs run from the harmless to the pointed: animals, skulls, food, faces, occupational jokes. They are sold individually, in a small presentation pack.

Standard shapes — the bulk of the range
XL shapes — a novelty size rather than a fitting size: tiger, star, caterpillar

Latex allergy still applies

The one health consideration that carries over from real condoms: these are natural rubber latex, and they can cause a reaction in someone with a latex allergy. That is true whether the item is used or simply handled — an allergic contact reaction on the hands is possible from unwrapping one.

If latex is a problem for anyone involved, this whole category is out, gift or not.

As a gift

This is what they are made for, and they work well within limits.

What works:

A single one as a stocking filler or a joke on a card
A themed pick that matches the person — the ladybird, the starfish
A set of three or four different designs, which reads as considered rather than crude — the panda, frog and cat shapes group well

What doesn't:

Giving one to someone who might genuinely mistake it for a working condom. If there is any doubt at all, say what it is when you hand it over
Personal-jibe designs, unless you are certain of the recipient's sense of humour
Anything for a teenager. The confusion risk is the whole problem

The prisoner, moon and horse designs are among the least likely to offend anyone.

What to avoid

Do not use one as a condom. It bears repeating because the object is convincing: it unrolls, it is latex, it looks the part. It has not been tested and the maker says plainly that it does not protect.
Do not keep one in a wallet "just in case." That is exactly how a novelty ends up being used in a moment when a real condom is not to hand.
Do not give one alongside real condoms in the same box or bag. Separate them, clearly.
Do not assume XL means a fitting size. It refers to the painted shape, not to a measured girth.

Storage

The same conditions that protect real latex apply, because the material is the same: cool, dark, away from oil, heat and direct sunlight. Latex degrades. A painted condom kept in a warm drawer for two years is neither a usable object nor a nice gift.

Frequently asked questions

Are novelty condoms safe to use for sex?

No. They are not certified as contraceptives or as protection against STIs, and the manufacturer states this explicitly on every product in this range. Use a CE-marked condom from the condoms category instead.

Do they carry a CE mark?

None of the items here does. A CE mark and an EN ISO 4074 reference are what indicate a condom tested to the European standard for medical devices; a novelty product is not tested to it.

Are they safe to handle?

Yes, with one exception: they are natural rubber latex, so anyone with a latex allergy can react to them simply by handling them. The pigments and the dusting powder are non-toxic.