These are lubricants that do two jobs at once: they provide the glide anal sex requires, and they carry a relaxing or conditioning component — usually jojoba, panthenol or plant extracts — intended to make the first few minutes more comfortable.
That makes them different from an anal relaxing spray, which is applied to the outside beforehand and then wears off. A spray is a comfort aid you use in addition to lubricant. The gels, creams and lubricants on this page are the lubricant. If you buy from this page, you do not also need to buy glide separately.
Gel, cream or lubricant
The names overlap more than they should, and in practice the difference is thickness.
A gel is the thickest, stays exactly where it is put and does not run. That is why gels dominate this category and why they suit anal use, where a thin liquid simply migrates away. The Pjur Analyse Me relaxing gel is the reference product here, available in a smaller 30 ml size worth starting with. The Xpower relax gel, the Secretplay relax gel and the Fistan Lubrifist gel cover the same ground at different volumes.
A cream is thicker still and more emollient, closer to a skin product in feel. The Pjur Power premium cream is the water-based example.
A liquid lubricant runs thinner and spreads further, which suits longer sessions where reapplying is inconvenient. Most of this category sits here.
The base decides what it is safe with
This is the section to read before buying, because the relaxing ingredient is not what determines compatibility. The base is, and this category contains all four.
Water-based is the safe default. It works with latex condoms and with every toy material, silicone included. It is the only correct choice if you are using a silicone butt plug. The trade-off is that it absorbs and dries, so it needs reapplying. The Swede Aqua Comfort states plainly that it is condom-safe and usable with all sex toys, and it is also free of parabens, glycerine and propylene glycol; Pjur Analyse Me water is the other strong option.
Silicone-based lasts far longer, does not dry out and needs almost no reapplication, which is why so much of this category uses it — including the Pjur Analyse Me gel above and the Back Door jojoba lubricant. It is safe with latex condoms. But it degrades silicone toys. Pairing a silicone lubricant with a silicone plug will damage the toy's surface over time, and that is the single most common compatibility mistake in this category.
Oil-based lasts longest of all and is the most conditioning, but it destroys latex condoms, quickly enough to cause failure. The Lubranal oil-base cream is one to use only when no latex is involved.
Hybrid formulas mix water and silicone to get some of each — the longevity of silicone with easier cleanup. The Lubrax hybrid is the example here. Treat a hybrid as silicone where toys are concerned unless the label says otherwise.
Our full guide, Which Lubricant for Which Toy, sets out every combination, and the wider range is sorted by base under water-based and silicone-based.
Anaesthetics: check the label
Products in this category split into two camps, and the label tells you which.
Most work through conditioning ingredients alone. Pjur states explicitly that its anal range contains no lidocaine or benzocaine, and describes the effect as reducing sensitivity rather than numbing — a deliberate distinction.
A minority do contain mild anaesthetics and say so. The Cobeco anal relax range, for example, describes "light anesthetic ingredients" in its formula.
Neither is wrong to sell, but the difference matters. Pain during anal sex is information: it signals that you are going too fast or that there is not enough lubricant. Dulling that signal lets you continue through damage you would otherwise stop for. If you choose a product with an anaesthetic, use it sparingly, keep it external, and never use it to push past pain.
Using one well
Use considerably more than feels necessary. The anus produces no lubrication of its own, and under-lubricating is the most common cause of discomfort and of small tears.
Apply to both the toy or partner and to yourself, and reapply during rather than only at the start — particularly with water-based, which absorbs. Give a relaxing formula a few minutes before starting; the conditioning ingredients need contact time.
Silicone and oil-based products do not wash off with water alone and need soap. Water-based rinses away easily, which is one of its quieter advantages.
Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between an anal relaxing gel and a spray?
A gel is the lubricant itself and provides glide. A spray is applied beforehand for comfort and provides almost no glide, so it is used alongside a lubricant rather than instead of one.
Which base should I choose?
Water-based if you are using silicone toys or want easy cleanup. Silicone-based if you want the longest-lasting glide and are not using silicone toys. Avoid oil-based entirely if latex condoms are involved.
Do anal relaxing gels contain numbing agents?
Some do and some do not, and the label says which. Pjur's anal range is explicitly free of lidocaine and benzocaine; the Cobeco range states it contains light anaesthetic ingredients.
Can I use these with condoms?
Water-based, silicone-based and hybrid formulas are all safe with latex. Oil-based is not, and will weaken a latex condom to the point of failure.
More in the wider range: all lubricants.
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